translation for today

hi girls!!
this is my translation for today!
I`ll be waiting for your comments!!


once they`re convinced your documents are in order,they will check under the hood and
kick your tires.They want to know what you`ve done in the past that will convice them you`ll succeed in the new position.If you haven`t been a maintenance free, High-performance machine they won`t think you`re reliable for the next road trip.


حالما يقتنعون بأن أوراقك وفق الشروط , سوف يتحققون من سجلاتك و تاريخك,فهم يريدون معرفة ما إذا حققت شيئا في الماضي يقنعهم بأنك سوف تنجح في المنصب الجديد. فإذا لم تكن كالآلة مجدا في عملك بدون توقف , سوف يعتقدون بأنك لست أهلا للمرحلة القادمة .
.


I wished that if miss DAna gave us the title of this essy, I would knew what is it talking about exactly and made my translation depends on it....
I did my best and I hope that it`s good enough

good luck for u all

~

Hi Layla ,,
I'm so impressed for your translation it's perfect .. i guess
because you used perfect words in Arabic wich match very well with the text

specially ]

they will check under the hood and kick your tires

]
you said it like [

سوف يتحققون من سجلاتك و تاريخك

]

I liked it, so , good for you because at these point I got lost for seconds
then I desided to trans it to :
]سيكتشفون ماهو مخبأ وتتعرض للطرد ]
too bad that he will be kiked out befor he get the job LOL
*********
I don't think your other words it is wrong but I rather to share with you mine

so , I will show you mine then I'm going to make it up

mine :

في لحظة أنهم إقتنعوا بأن وثائقك على حسب ماهو مطلوب , فسيبحثون عنك وسيجدون ماهو مخبأ وستتعرض متاعبك للطرد "
فهم يريدون أن يعرفوا ماضيك وخبراتك السابقة ليقتنعوا بأنك ستنجح في مسيرتك الجديدة.
إن لم تكن متفرغ وذو فعالية عالية لن يظنوا بأنك جدير لتلك الرحلة المهنية القادمة."

now I'm adding some changes according to your text:

في لحظة أنهم إقتنعوا بأن وثائقك على حسب ماهو مطلوب , سوف يتحققون من سجلاتك و تاريخك"
فهم يريدون معرفة ماضيك وخبراتك السابقة ليقتنعوا بأنك ستنجح في مسيرتك الجديدة.
فإذا لم تكن متفرغ وذو فعالية عالية, لن يظنوا بأنك جدير لتلك الرحلة المهنية القادمة."

.

now tell me what do you think ladies

//

girls what is this !!!
Is this what the text said ?!
I knew that it talked about job but I translated it in a really stupid way !



Layla ~

your translation is perfect as I see ..
I have two comments on it ..

The first is :

فهم يريدون معرفة ما إذا حققت شيئا في الماضي

you said ( معرفة ما إذا حققت ) and I see if you said ( معرفة إذا ما حققت ) because I think it will pronounced smoothly:D what do you think ?!

Second :

فإذا لم تكن كالآلة مجدا في عملك بدون توقف , سوف يعتقدون بأنك لست أهلا للمرحلة القادمة

in this one, in my opinion .. it's better if you used ( إن الشرطية ) instead of ( إذا ) .. and the sentence would be like this ( فإن لم تكن كالآلة .. ) .. I suggest this because it looks like a condition "if you didn't be like this , something will happen to you " , right?

I hope that my notes are acceptable ^^"

I wished that if miss DAna gave us the title of this essy, I
would knew what is it talking about exactly and made my translation
depends on it....

yes.. I think it will be better ^^ .. because with the title we'll know what terms we're dealing with ^^

,,

Manar ~

believe me .... your translation is much better than mine !! wait until you see it and you'll kick me out !
and about yours .. I'll not say anything about the first draft as you did'nt consider it the official one
but the second one ..
I'll show you my comments on it ..

my comments :
if you said ( لحظة إقتناعهم بأن وثائقك حسب المطلوب ) I think it will be more suitable ^-^"
about this word ( ستنجح في مسيرتك الجديدة ) I really like it but I don't think it leads to the target meaning
this word ( لن يظنوا ) in my opinion it is a little ( ركيكة ) maybe if you changed it to another synonym would be better ?? what do you think ?? ^-^"

I hope my notes was acceptable ..

P.S
should we all but our translation in the same time or wait until Layla's finished ???
if it is , I'll add mine ! ~

Thanks ~

Heey Lubna

what did you write in your first draft !! surprise me


***
for your comments.. can you reform the text to clear your points up
I didn't exactly get you

***
and , of cours you sould have put you translation to let us discuss with you what you wrote and to correct each other
then what's the ponint from the homework !
Layla put the English one and that's it , now it's your turn

we'r waiting for you deer ...

OMG girls keep on rocking!!!
!!!
u really have good points
I loved ur comments a lot...they r so useful

Lubna
you kill the Arabic grammar!!!the things that u pointed at ,u r so right about them
because when I started reading the text in Arabic ..I don`t know ! something doesn`t feel right about it and I was so freaking tired I haven`t slept for 5 days and I translated it as soon as I reached home
and about ur translation I`m sure that u talked about cars …..LOL
but who can blame u ??? we don`t know what is the title of the essay,,,

thanx a lot Manar for ur comments
and I like ur translation a lot
even better than mine
have a good time girls
c yaaaaaaaaa

Manar ~

ok my dear .. !
I wrote it again for you .. and I highlighted the words that I've changed.. ^^

في لحظة إقتناعهم بأن وثائقك على حسب المطلوب , سوف يتحققون من سجلاتك و تاريخك
فهم يريدون معرفة ماضيك وخبراتك السابقة ليقتنعوا بأنك ستنجح في مسيرتك الجديدة.
فإذا لم تكن متفرغ وذو فعالية عالية, لن يعتقدوا بأنك جدير لتلك الرحلة المهنية القادمة

I hope it is clear now !


Layla ~

same here Layla ! I miss my bed a lot !!
No ! it's better than cars !! you know I have a fertile imagination !!.. LOL

***

actually I couldn't remember the the exact words that I used in the first time , but I hope I'm almost near to it !

في اللحظة التي يقتنعون فيها بأن ملفاتك مرتبة , فسيقومون بسبر غورك وإطلاق العنان لذاكرتك , فإنهم يردون معرفة ما اللذي حققته في الماضي يقنعهم بأنك ستنجح في الوضع الحالي , فإن لم تكن ملتزما فإن الآلات المتطورة لن تقتنع بأنك مستعد للمرحلة القادمة

you have all the rights to laugh as much as you can !

I thought the text was a part of a sci-fiction story !! <<< A WHAT ???????!!

so , girls ! show me your big smiles !!

Lubna ..
Thank you dear now it's clear for me it's even better I liked it so much it's so easy to read
good job girls

Ps:
for one second I felt that : you and google transelation are relatives



actully yes that's what will happen at the first time you feel it's so perfect and satisfied:study:

.. but if you read more than one

you'll recognize some selly mistakes:affraid:
don't worry good one Lubna

Layla , welcome honey it's really good for me

Thank you girls have a good time
CU

Manar ~

I thought this too when I compared my translation with yours !!
I felt really sad when I translated like that .. but it's have a good side! .. that I knew I have a problem in translating .. so I have to work harder than before !
because after " المذيع " in the class and my "creative" translation here !.. it's obvious that there is something wrong !


Thanks Manar .. And your welcome ! ^^

where is the final draft?

The final draft :

PS:
I spent a lot of time trying to but the dot in the right place .. but it seems that is too hard than I thought !!!!

I hope that it's good enough

Hi miss and hi girls
I'm so sorry I'm very late but I had many exams in this week I can't entered in the group and I haven't the Internet.
can u show my draft;
حالما أنهم مقتنعون بترتيب وثائقك، سيتفقدون أوراقك وسجلاتك، يريدون معرفة ماعملت في الماضي. يقنعهم بأنك سوف تنجح في الموقع الجديد. فإذا لم تكن عالي الأداء، سوف يعتقدون بأنك لست جدير للمرحلة القادمة.

I wished that if miss DAna gave us the title of this essy, I would knew what is it talking about exactly and made my translation depends on it....

I did, you were not paying attention. In fact, I also told you that what you have is a continuation of the paragraph we translated together.

-----------

Hi miss and hi girls
I'm so sorry I'm very late but I had many exams in this week I can't entered in the group and I haven't the Internet.

you are too late to submit your work. Your team-mate already gave her final draft. Besides, your so called "discussion" was.... I would rather not hurt your feelings. so, go read the announcement and and the bonus discussion and try to make it better ..

As to you not having internet, you can always use the free connection at the university lab. This is not an acceptable excuse.

Anyhow, you are moved to Group [9] with Atika and Elham.
-------------

حالما يقتنعون بأن أوراقك وفق الشروط , سوف يتحققون من سجلاتك و تاريخك, فهم يريدون معرفة إذا ما حققت شيئاً في الماضي يقنعهم بأنك سوف تنجح (ستنجح) في المنصب الجديد. فإن لم تكن كالآلة مجداً في عملك بدون توقف , سوف يعتقدون ( سيعتقدون ) بأنك لست أهلا للمرحلة القادمة

wow wow wow
this translation is so wonderful!!!!!!
Ladies, YOU'VE GOT TALENT!!
I have minor comments but they are just small pointers.

1- don't write choices in translation e.g. :
سوف تنجح (ستنجح) في المنصب الجديد
2- since you didn't know the article was based on a comparison between a job interview with buying cars, you omitted the puns (check under the hood and kick your tires / reliable for the next road trip) related to that aspect to an understandable sentences in Arabic.
In the future if you knew there was a comparison, try to keep the puns in Arabic.


Even though, you were late such a talent combined with wonderful discussion deserves a BONUS from the heart .. ( Naturally the bonus goes to the ladies who "discussed")